First, watch this.

A conversation from 2002 between Remy Shand and his then-wife, Maiko.

Remy: Baby!
Maiko: What, honey?
Remy: I did it. I did it! I got a recording contract!
Maiko: Oh my God! That's amazing! I'm so proud of you.
Remy: I'm going on tour and everything. You should come be my back-up singer.
Maiko: um... honey, I already have a job. I am part of SUGAR JONES, thankyouverymuch.
Remy: Right. Right. I understand. You don't love me.
Maiko: Ugh. Can we NOT do this? For fucking ONCE?
Remy: No, I totally understand. Your lame, manufactured pop group is more important than your self-made, soulful HUSBAND.
Maiko: Ugh. FINE. I will quit the band. I will tour with you and be your back-up singer. Can you shut up now?
Remy: Mm. I love you, baby. So much.
Maiko: Yeah.
Remy: But, baby, I've got more good news.
Maiko: Oh, Jesus fuck.
Remy: We're making a music video. And I want you to be in it.
Maiko: I was already IN a music video. For SUGAR JONES. "Days Like That," hello?
Remy: No, but this time, you'll be, like, the ONLY ONE to focus on. Or, like, one of TWO, at most.
Maiko: ...I guess that's still an improvement.
Remy: YEAH it is! Because I LOVE you.
Maiko: Uh huh.
Remy: So you're going to be the sexy, mysterious girl who is dancing sexily throughout the video.
Maiko: That doesn't sound so bad.
Remy: It's gonna be awesome! I even brought home your costume.
Maiko: ...What the fuck is this?
Remy: It's an electric blue satin headscarf! Put it on!
Maiko: I am not putting this on.
Remy: YOU DON'T LOVE ME.
Maiko: Fine, Jesus, it's on... I... I guess I can deal with this.
Remy: No, no, BABY, there is MORE.
Maiko: Of fucking course there is.
Remy: What sexy, mysterious girl would be complete without... wait for it...
Maiko: ...
Remy: ...A T-shirt with a giant CAT FACE SILK SCREENED ON THE FRONT. BOOYAH.
Maiko: No. NO.
Remy: What? What's wrong?
Maiko: Who the fuck would wear this? WHO THE FUCK WOULD WEAR THIS, REMY?
Remy: Oh, I don't know, I thought MY LOVING WIFE WOULD WEAR IT BECAUSE SHE LOVES ME BUT I GUESS SHE DOESN'T BECAUSE SHE DOESN'T BELIEVE IN MY DREAM.
Maiko: You're not going to shut up until I wear it.
Remy: Probably not.
Maiko: Fine.
Remy: I love you.
Maiko: I gave up Sugar Jones for you, you know.
Remy: Don't worry, baby. The only thing that will last longer than my music career is our love.

Labels: days like that, maiko, remy shand, sugar jones, take a message for my love

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